Fixing Me, Fixing You, Fixing Us
by literatiforeva
Summary: "Nag Hammadi Is Where They Found The Gnostic Gospels" - How it should've gone. Literati all the way! Luke and Lorelai will be in the story, but I won't emphasize their relationship. Recently re-written; no longer a songfic. Even though this is rewritten, it is TECHNICALLY still my first fanfic. So, please R&R! I will be grateful for any feedback. Chap. 3 now up!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So after looking at the reviews I got, I decided to re-write and re-post this story. It is no longer a songfic, and the chapters will definitely have more original content. The first two postings were kinda like a test, because it was my first time writing fanfiction, so this time around, I'm going to try harder. So please, R&R!**

_This picks up at the end of the long dialogue between Rory and Jess. _

"No. You wanted to talk, so talk. What do you have to say to me?" Rory had had enough.

"I love you." Jess says quietly.

Rory just stared at Jess in shock. When she still didn't reply, Jess started to walk away.

Watching his retreating figure, a hundred different memories flashed through her head, each more painful than the last. Memories of Jess from when she was still with Dean. Memories from when they first started dating. Memories from the crashing end of their relationship. Memories of the pain-hazed days that had flown by he left. Drawing energy from this pain, from this pain of loving someone, Rory finally found the strength to talk.

"If you love me," Rory said quietly, "then why did you leave? If you love me, why do you keep walking away? You don't get to keep doing this! You don't get to come back here and break my heart all over again! Do you know what you did to me when you left?" At this point, she had started to cry. "If you really love me, then why do you keep hurting me? When you left, it was like you plunged a dagger into my chest. When you called me the day of my graduation, you stuck the dagger in even deeper. And now, you're pushing it deeper still. How long are you going to keep pushing it in until you completely break me?!"

Rory looked at Jess through her tear stained eyes, too tired of being hurt to even have the energy to glare at him. She was so tired. Tired of the ache in her heart that had become a constant in her life, tired of the pain of all the memories. She was tired of blinding pain that haunted her, the pain that no one else could see. She wanted to be rid of the pain. But she can't. Because the pain is what comes from loving someone.

"So please," Rory said at a whisper, heart breaking with every word. "Do you truly love me?"

Jess stopped in his tracks, and turned around to stare at the tear-stained face of the girl he loved, the only person he has ever loved. He looked into her beautiful, captivating blue eyes, and saw the pain in them. The pain he had caused. The pain he had hoped to spare her by leaving her. He should leave right now. He should leave and let her forget about him, about them. Let her forget the pain. He deserved to live with heartache he had brought upon himself. He could still save her, if only he walked away.

But unfortunately, he wasn't strong enough.

"I love you," Jess said shakily. A single tear slid down his face.

Slowly, he took two steps towards Rory.

"I love you," he repeated. "And I never meant to hurt you. I left not because I didn't care about you. God, I care about you. I've never cared about anyone or anything this much in my life. I left because you deserve better."

He took another two steps forward.

"I wasn't going to graduate," Jess continued. "And you're going to frickin' Yale! Why would you stay with someone who drags you down, rather than makes you better? I don't deserve you, and I thought by leaving, maybe I could do the right thing for once in my life. I thought maybe by leaving, I could still save you, because let's be honest here," Jess let out a hollowed, painful laugh. "It's too late for me, isn't it? I've ruined everything. I ruined myself, and my entire life. And I ruined you; which is the one thing I swore to myself that I would never do."

He stepped forward again.

Tears continued to flow down Rory's face as she continued to stare at Jess, face still contorted in pain. Jess took two more steps, and stopped right in front of her.

"So I'm sorry," Jess whispered, sounding like he had given up. "For everything."

He leaned close and kissed Rory on the forehead. And slowly started to back away again, but leaving his heart behind.

**A/N: So this is the re-write of the first/second chapter combined, I hope it is a lot better than the original. I'm sorry if Jess seems a little OOC, but it just felt right to me. Please leave some feedback, I would love to know how you all felt about this. **


	2. Chapter 2

When Jess started walking away again, he left his heart behind. However, he took Rory's with him.

"Please," Rory begged. "Don't leave me!"

Jess looked back at her, standing alone on the street, tears streaming down her face, hair flowing with the wind. Even in her distraught state, Jess thought she had never looked more beautiful. And that only broke his heart more as he said, "I'm sorry," he said, voice shaking. "It's for the best. I can't stay here anymore. It's too late for me. I've ruined everything. But it's not too late for you. You can move on, have a better life. But that better life won't exist as long as I stay."

Rory wiped her eyes, and her sea blue eyes met Jess's chocolate brown ones. She said, "It's not too late. Not for you, not for me, not for us. We still have a chance! Just don't leave. We can fix everything! Together! You can get your GED, I can still go to Yale. I know that Luke and Lorelai are mad at you, but we can deal with that later!"

"I've done enough damage here." Jess said quitely.

"You'll do even more if you leave!"

"I've hurt you enough."

"Well, than you can't hurt me much more then, can you?"

Jess cringed. That had hit a sore spot.

"You know it's true!" Rory cried indignantly. "So why don't you stay? That way, at least you might get a chance to fix everything."

Jess looked down, overwhelmed. He wanted to get a GED; he knew he would do that no matter what. If not for himself, then for Rory. But did he really deserve a second chance? He didn't deserve Lorelai's approval, or Luke's hospitality. Most of all, he didn't deserve Rory.

Rory seemed to read his mind. "It doesn't matter if you made mistakes in the past! Just focus on now! And right now, I need you. I need you to stay with me. I need to know that you won't leave me. I need you to prove that you love me."

"But why?" asked Jess softly. "There are so many others out there that can treat you better than I can."

"But I don't want them!" Rory was getting frustrated now. "I want you, and only you!"

"I still don't understand why!" Jess exclaimed. He really did want to stay, so badly. But he wasn't sure what would be the bigger mistake: staying and potentially causing more problems in the future, or leaving, and thus hurting Rory all over again.

"Because I love you too!" Rory yelled, and started to sob once more.

In this moment, Jess lost all self-control. He no longer had the ability to think about the consequences. All he knew was what he wanted in that moment. And so, for the first time that night, he didn't think. He followed his heart.

Jess sprinted towards Rory, and wrapped her in his arms. Rory turned her head and cried into his shoulder. Jess smoothed her hair, and held her as close as possible. He loved her, so much. He was done running away. He had lied to himself about leaving because he thought it was best for Rory. The truth was, he was just scared. Scared of messing up again. Scared of getting kicked out again. Scare of disappointing Rory. Scared of disappointing himself. And most of all, scared that he would once again have no one. He thought that if he ran, at least he could keep the memories of his time here. He didn't want to stay and make everything worse, and walk away with nothing. But that was wrong. So wrong. He was done lying. He was done hiding. He pulled Rory even closer. This time, he was going to stay. This time, he would change. This time, he didn't plan on letting go.

"I'll never leave you again," Jess whispered into her hair. And that was a promise he would never break.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry I know it's been a long time since I updated. Life is busy. But at least I updated. I'm truly sorry for the wait though. But, I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving!

They stayed there for a while, neither of them willing to be the first one to break the silence, neither of them willing to be the first one to let go.  
Fortunately, neither of them had to make that choice, because unfortunately, Lorelai happened to find Rory at that exact moment.

"My dear offspring, there you are! I've been looking all over for y-," she paused when she saw who Rory was with.

Jess and Rory quickly sprang apart.

"Oh, uh, hey, mom!" Rory stuttered. "I was just, uh..."

Jess, knowing the Gilmore Girls, decided that giving them some privacy and time would be best. He leaned towards Rory and whispered in her ear, "Tomorrow morning in the diner, 'kay?"

Jess gave Lorelai a nod of acknowledgement, and quickly walked to Luke's.

After Jess left, Lorelai said quietly, "Let's go home".

Rory followed Lorelai home in silence, worried about her mom's reaction. She knew that Lorelai just wanted to protect her, but she wasn't a little girl anymore.

"I know you think you're not a little girl anymore," Lorelai said as soon as they entered the house. Rory resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "But I'm still your mom. I still need to protect you. And I do not trust _THAT BOY _to be around you, especially not after what he did. What is he doing here, anyways?! I thought he went to the state of sunshine to play hooky, or whatever he does as a modern day James Dean."_  
_

A thousand thoughts flashed through her head, and she had so many things she wanted to say to her mom in order to defend Jess. But only one sentence slipped out of her mouth.

"He said I love you," whispered Rory quietly.

"What?" asked Lorelai. "Did I hear you correctly? That two-faced little delinquent, who shuts everyone out, said that he loved you?"

"Yes," said Rory, tears coming to her eyes. "Despite all that he did, despite being shunned by the town-"

"He deserved it," Lorelai interrupted.

"Despite feeling like he had to run away-"

"No one forced him to," Lorelai pointed out.

"Mom!" Rory shouted. "Let me finish! Jess came back for me. He came back to tell me that he loves me. Do you know why he left? Because he felt that he was a burden. Because he felt like he wasn't good enough. And even though this ENTIRE TOWN treated him SO BADLY, he came back JUST to apologize. He came back just because he loves me."

Rory looked up at her mom, a tear rolling down her face. "And even though I don't have the prettiest history with Jess, I can't help but love him after this. Even though he hurt me, his love is stronger. He's different, mom; he's better. You have to trust me. Please. Give him a second chance."

"Besides," Rory added with a smile, "he's Luke's nephew. You can't hate him forever".

Lorelai smiled. "I hate it when you're right. Fine, I'll give him a chance. But he has to prove that he's different."

Rory smiled and nodded in agreement. Lorelai wrapped her arm around Rory's shoulder and they walked to the kitchen to get some PopTarts.

"Did he really say that he loves you?"

"Mom!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have a hard time adjusting to this changed man situation.."

The Gilmore Girls shared a laugh.

A/N: next chapter will be the interaction between Jess and Luke.


End file.
